Weekend Edition

I held out on posting because I knew the weekend would have a lot to offer in the form of interesting interactions. Here are some gems from the past few days:

"You fancy." ~ Said to me on the street by some guy simply because I was carrying my dry cleaning home. Little does ol' dude know, I go to the dry cleaner approximately once every three months... I guess that makes me fancy (only in Harlem...).

"I only lie in bed." ~ Sammy, drunken hot mess of a guy at the bar that looked like he stumbled straight out of an episode of The Jersey Shore. He was hitting on my friend Rachael. Not sure what the deal is, but 2 guys called her a liar. Do men think this is a fun way to flirt with women? (FYI: It's not funny or cute, so stop it)

Guy with thick Southern accent: (GSA): I just moved here from Georgia

Me: Oh really, how long have you been here?

GSA: I flew in today at 3:22 PM

Me:  Oh, so you literally just moved here. Haha. Have you ever been to NY before?

GSA:  No. This is my first time.

Me: Good luck. It's not like Georgia... at all. 

Josh C2 (lol, only Alli can understand this): I'm from Rego Park, in Queens. Do you know where that is?

Me: I know some areas of Queens, but I don't know exactly where that is.

JC2: Its where the tornado hit last week.

Me: So is there a huge gaping hole where Rego Park used to be? 

JC2:No, but we got hit pretty hard. There are cars that were broken in half on my block.

Me:  Wow, that sucks...(Because what do you say to that?)

Spanish Tourist (she was part of a group of 4... oh yea, and Spanish as in from Spain): Um, can you help us?

Me: I can try.

ST: We are looking for the (insert intelligible words here in broken English)

Me: Huh?

She tried again and then we just stared at each other for a good minute. I used the word "calle" which was NOT helpful to anyone. Then she got a map from one of the guys with her. I pointed to where we were and tried again to see where they wanted to go.

ST: The (intelligible words again) church for the gospel.

Me: Oh, a church (Mind you, there are probably 25 churches (literally) within a 5 block radius of where we were). 

I pointed them in a general direction and wished them luck. They picked the wrong NYer to ask for help. It made me really want to brush up on my Spanish.

** I was sitting on a bench eating my hangover cure breakfast and I had noticed a ton of European tourists getting off the train at my station, but I couldn't for the life of my figure out why all these people were coming from far and wide to kick in Harlem on Sunday morning. Then I met this group and I guess hitting up a church in Harlem is a "must do" for tourists. I thought that was really cool. They couldn't understand English very well, yet they wanted to go hear the gospel at a church. Apparently some things transcend language. 

P.S. The hangover cure breakfast is a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll with a vitamin water. Try it; it works every time.